You might wish your kid wasn’t on Facebook, but getting them to leave the site is next to impossible. Most teenagers hate it when their parents are on the site, and barely a third accept friend requests from them.
Now the folks at DSL Service Providers recommend having some fun at your kids expense — and we dig this approach, even though it may get you unfriended. Meanwhile, these tactics will provide you with hilarious entertainment.
Regardless, here are ten ways to embarrass your kids on Facebook.
Add Their Name to Yours
You have probably seen how some women put their maiden names in parenthesis to help old friends identify them. Instead, put your kid’s name in the parenthesis instead. So your name is now Suzie, Johnny Smith’s Mom. Be sure to be on their ‘friends’ list to get the full effect.
Post Baby Pictures On Their Walls
Posting their childhood photos to your photo albums just isn’t good enough. Find the most embarrassing photo you can of them as a child, and use it as your profile pic. Make sure to include a note to the photo telling how it came to be.
Befriend Their Friends
In order to properly embarrass your kids, you need someone to embarrass them in front of. Go ahead and friend request all of their friends. You will not only have an audience, but you can keep tabs on your younger kids’ friends this way as well.
Post Chore Reminders On Their Walls
Instead of picking up the phone, or talking to them in person, use facebook as your new medium for keeping in touch. Post embarrassing conversations on their wall such as, “Johnny, please remember to put the toilet seat down when you are finished, I fell in this morning, again!”
Like Cheesy Fan Pages
Find some outrageous fan pages and like them on a regular basis — they’ll pop up on your kids’ news feeds and the feeds of their friends that you friended. Remember your child’s name is in yours, so now it will say “Suzie, Johnny Smith’s, Mom Likes Women with Flatulence Problems.” Then suggest these pages to your kid and their friends.
Like Or Comment On Everything
Anytime your kids post a photo or status update, make sure you click like and comment on it. If they post a photo of themselves rock climbing you might respond with “That looks dangerous, honey. Did you get scared? It looks like your pants are wet.”
Anytime someone of the opposite sex posts on your kid’s wall, take advantage of it. Comment after theirs saying, “You seem like a nice boy (girl). Why don’t you and my daughter (son) get together for a date?”
Use Shorthand Aggressively
Texting shorthand comes in handy when using a mobile device or making an occasional quick response online. But it can get really annoying if you over use it — unless you’re doing it to embarrass your kids, in which case it’s hilarious for you to watch them get riled up over it. So go ahead and LOL, TTYL and CYL8R all over your kid’s Facebook page.
If one of your teenage kids gets a message on their wall from another friend to call, text or message them, you have a chance to really embarrass them. Jump in and respond on your kids’ behalf in a way that makes it sound like they need your permission first. For example: “Sorry Sally, but Johnny is grounded and will not be able to meet you at the movies on Friday.”
Menace Their Significant Others
This one works especially well for dads keeping an eye on their daughters. Anytime a guy posts something to your daughters’ wall, make sure you add your comment to it. If a guy comments on a photo saying “You look hot,” you can respond back with “Dear guy friend, have we met? If not, we need to, soon.” A profile picture of you holding a shotgun will add well to the embarrassment and fear factor of this type of comment.
Readers, have you — or any of your friends who are parents — tried these approaches on family members on Facebook? Or have you wanted to?
Many thanks to Laura Backes of http://www.dslserviceproviders.org