Dear Santa, Please Bring Me Better Facebook Features

Dear Santa,

My name is Heather. You don’t know me. I’m Jewish, so growing up I once spent the entire year trying to guilt my parents into buying me a $100 American Girl Doll, instead of just penning you a simple request. I was eventually successful, but I remember feeling that corresponding with you would have been much easier. I hold onto that childhood memory as I write to you today.

Santa, I can call you that, right? Santa, you know how much I love Facebook (I assume you know the wants and desires of all the 20-something children on Earth), but I strongly feel like it could be better. For Christmas this year, if you could just bring me a better experience as a user, community manager, and advertiser, I would forever be grateful. I have taken the liberty of making you a list of Facebook features I would like to see on my laptop when I awake Dec. 25 (I’m sorry, I don’t have a tree. Just look for a 13-inch MacBook.)

I want:

  • A Facebook ads interface that isn’t constantly changing.
  • A power editor that works in Firefox and not just Chrome.
  • An easier way to get into contact with Facebook support for non-paid account issues.
  • A more intuitive paid reporting interface.
  • The option to jump off a comment thread. I am currently afraid to wish congratulations on baby announcements for fear of subsequent deluge of messages from strangers.
  • A news feed that would stop switching back to top stories even though I always change it to most recent. Santa, no one wants old news, no matter how good it is.
  • An effective FarmVille (or any game really) invitation prevention app.
  • A way to tell retargeted ads, “I already bought those damn shoes, so stop trying to get me to that point of purchase.”
  • A revival of that short-lived feature that allowed users to print and order photos directly from Facebook through Snapfish.
  • The ability to like your own brand page as yourself, and not the page, while remaining an admin.
  • More control over my news feed content and viewing experience.
  • For Facebook and Google to have a better relationship. It would be awful nice if Facebook items were integrated into Google’s search result position tool.
  • More granular filters that allow me to hide any posts that include politics, that girl who has it all, religion, engagements, ex-boyfriends, or Kickstarter pleas.

Santa, I know we don’t have a relationship like you have with most other boys and girls. I get it, but maybe we could work something out this year. I’m sure you have a few elves who dabble in Web development during the off-season. I don’t expect all of these wishes to be granted, but I do appreciate your efforts. Also, if you want to leave an iPad or new MacBook Pro for me to view these new features in a higher resolution, I wouldn’t be upset.


Heather Sundell

P.S. Did I do this Santa letter right? And did my friend Sarah Gottleib do this letter right, too?

P.P.S. I forgot to mention that I was, like, way good this year. I not only adopted timeline with ease, but I was a vocal advocate to the naysayers. That’s gotta count for something.

Heather Sundell is the marketing manager for The Search Agency.

Image courtesy of Shutterstock.

Related Stories
Mediabistro Course

Facebook Marketing

Facebook MarketingStarting Janaury 13, work with the group marketing manager of social media at Microsoft/BingAds to build a fan base and grow your business on Facebook! In this course, Geoffrey Colon will teach you how to set up and enhance your company page, understand best practices and measuring your success, execute a monthly content strategy, and incorporate Facebook into your overall marketing efforts. Register now!