This homepage ticker is going to give me a migraine. It shows if you have chat open, and if you close chat, it takes residence above the ads and everything else. Seriously, that’s too distracting.

The eye is naturally drawn to movement, and Facebook has already given me attention deficit hyperactivity disorder.

Facebook needs to make the ticker optional.

Until that happens, here are some MacGyver solutions, none of which Facebook is going to like.

1. Make your browser window smaller

Then you couldn’t see anything on the right side of the screen. Facebook wouldn’t like that, because then I can’t see ads, and aren’t they bringing in somewhere between two and four billion dollars this year? Hmm.

2. Cover It Up With A Post-It Note

Ok, two post-its, because one is too thin and I can still see movement through it. But then I have trouble using all my other websites and applications. This is cutting off my nose to spite my face… book.

3. Change The Language Setting To U.K. English

That’s a myth people keep repeating on Facebook, but it doesn’t work.

4. Maximize the chat window

See that grey bar separating the chat window from the ticker? Move it all the way to the top of the screen and bye-bye, ticker. Wait, then it’s hello, chat. I don’t want to chat.

5. Switch To MySpace

Ok, I’m not that desperate. Never mind. That just leaves…

6. Quit Facebook and Social Media Forever

Nope, dang it, I just wrote two books about Facebook marketing. Guess I’ll just have to…

7. Go Protest At Facebook Headquarters

Hmm, nope I have work to do. Maybe I’ll just write a post on AllFacebook and hope people read it?

Brian Carter is author of The Like Economy: How Businesses Make Money on Facebook.