(As told to Ruth Manuel-Logan)
I consider myself to be a pretty educated guy, smart, personable. I’m a great dad and have tried to be a caring husband. I’ve never been one to hang out with the guys. Not a boozer. Never been a womanizer, not even in my single days. My life basically revolves around my wife and kids, and that’s how I’ve kind of always pictured my life to be. Corny? OK. Nothing wrong with being an average Joe — I’ll accept the banner and wear it proudly! So how is it that my wife is filing for divorce. My two worlds, our 7-year-old twin boys, are living with her. How did it all come to this? Facebook!
Life was good. I had just moved up another level at my company. Bought my wife a new car that she pined for and loved. The kids were doing great in school. Life was good? My wife had discovered Facebook and it seemed to be all the rage for her. Our end-of-the-night conversations often ended with status update discussions involving the goings-on of her family and long-lost friends. Yet, not once did she ever mention that she had reconnected with her high school love, ever.
Last November, before the holidays, I started noticing that my wife was making runs to Target, usually after dinner. She’d say that we needed this or that for the home. I knew how much she loved Target, so I kind of didn’t give her “store runs” a second thought. During the day, I’d call her at work and she’d be too busy to talk. I thought, “OK, we all have those manic work moments.” When I knew she was on a lunch break, I’d again call her cell, and it would always go into voicemail. Call me oblivious, but again, no thought was given to this pattern.
I did notice that our romantic times had lessened. Whenever I’d playfully pat her backside or try to sneak in a kiss, I felt her kind of pull away and say she was stressed or busy. One day she told me that her doctor had found fibroids (benign growths) in her uterus and that sex was too uncomfortable for her to bear. She said she was considering having surgery but would have to contemplate it thoroughly. I gave her space, was patient beyond belief, never pressured her once, never questioned her condition.
Last February, she called me at work in the morning to ask if I could meet her for lunch, and I agreed. We often met for lunch, so it was no big deal. It was two days before Valentine’s Day. We met at our favorite lunch spot, and she told me her news. She had reconnected with her high school sweetheart and had fallen so in love with him that she could not help herself. Suffice it to say, I was devastated beyond words. I felt as if my world was collapsing all around me. I could not function for a while. I kept thinking, “What did I do wrong?” I thought I was a good guy, had done everything right — stuff like this just does not happen to people like us.
Why would my wife of eight years leave me? Our life together was just beginning. Everything was still so new and hopeful. What about our sons?
She told me that she was moving out and taking the kids. The guy was single and loved her enough to take on a family.
When I asked my wife her reasons for leaving me, there were none. She only said, that she had never really stopped loving her high school sweetheart. I guess I was just her consolation prize.
My wife and boys are now living with her and that man. The boys are great and have adjusted to the situation. I get my sons two weekends per month. It’s all very amicable. I am in counseling because it is vital, in order to cope with the breakup of my family and to piece together the me, I used to be.
Do I sound like a sap? Perhaps. I have come to realize that I was fighting a losing battle that had begun with Facebook. I am bitter toward Facebook and will never subscribe to this home-wrecking evil! Facebook is the accomplice that assisted in disintegrating my family. Whoever said Facebook does not break marriages, and people do, well, “they” were dead wrong, as far as I’m concerned. Facebook in my opinion is hazardous and toxic to any love relationship, and my only regret is that I didn’t insist that my wife ditch her account as soon as she opened it!
Readers: Do you every worry about the social networking activities of your significant others?