Unfriend Phobia Is Spreading On Facebook

Do you wake up nights drenched in sweat at the thought of having to unfriend that supervisor at work who maniacally proselytizes her religious beliefs?

Have you overdosed on Tums because of the agita you feel, every time you attempt to inch that index finger over to press the unfriend button on your pesty, tell-all-of-your-business mother-in-law?

What about that ex-lover who put your heart through a meat grinder but who is now trying to make cyber moves on you, whom by the way, you never told your hubby about. Do you fear you’ll be cut off from him forever if you unfriend him now?

Unfriend Phobia is spreading like wildfire all throughout Facebook. Folks everywhere are troubled by thoughts of having to disconnect from people whom they quite possibly should not have friended in the first place.

Perhaps you should look at the up side of unfriending someone. In the first place, unfriending someone is good for your soul, it’s what the doctor ordered to cure this type of phobia.

Consider this: Why did you friend a former enemy, to keep tabs on what she’s doing? Then what? Okay, so you’ve got your fill of your nemesis’ existence on this planet, don’t you think you should now ghost out of her life? Are you afraid she’ll find you and pull your weave out, if you unfriend her?

What about those get-on-your-last-nerve pests, you know, the ones that annoy the living hell out of you with their ostentatious or juvenile status updates. Every time, their verbal poops appear on your Facebook page, you throw up just a little in your mouth as you read them. Regurgitation causes dental damage, why fret about what you know you need to do.

God bless those politicos! The ones who refuse to shut up when making their polarizing statements, the stuff of fierce Facebook battles. “Let’s oust Obama! I think Sarah Palin should be running the country right now!” Why do you gnaw on your nails and think that these people will somehow make secret arrangements to take away your voting rights if you unfriend them?

You couldn’t stand your ex-boss and now he’s a Facebook friend. Go figure. As a matter of fact, the man fired you, yet somehow, he had the cojones to friend you on Facebook. You pitiful soul, you accepted him as a friend and now you rue the day!

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